"THERE'S A SUCKER BORN EVERY MINUTE" --- possible motto and business plan of Verizon Wireless???...
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Sunday, July 24, 2011

In The Beginning



Why did God make snakes before Verizon salesmen?

practice makes perfect

Friday, July 15, 2011

What Would Galileo Say



If you drop a snake and the President of Verizon off the Empire State Building at precisely the same time, which one hits the ground first?

....Who cares?

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

But Why Would You Want To?



How to save the CEO of Verizon from drowning?

take your foot off his head

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Question



If a Verizon Rep has a heart attack, does he lie still???

Monday, June 27, 2011

Chop, Chop, Chop, Chop



What’s the difference between a Verizon Executive and an onion?

People cry when they slice up an onion.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Gulp, Gulp

What's cold, thick and slimy, and sharp to the touch?

20 ice cubes, a Verizon rep, and a porcupine in a blender

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Elementary...

What’s the difference between a Verizon salesperson and a catfish?

One is a slimy, bottom dwelling, scum sucker. The other is a fish.
Next question...

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Never Enough

What do you call it when a Verizon Rep is buried up to his neck in sand?

A shortage of sand.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Saturday, March 12, 2011

What's In a Name

Why exactly did Verizon pick the name "Verizon" for their company?

because the name "Shysters 'R Us" was just too literal

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Lookin' Sharp

What's black and brown and looks great on the President of Verizon?

a doberman pinscher

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Eeeeeeewww

What's greenish-brown, slimy, smells like sewage, is bigger than a bread box, and has fangs and at most one eyeball???

I don't know, but I'd like to mail it to Verizon's corporate office.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

More Practice for the S.A.T.

Can you fill in the blank:

__erizon SUCKS!!

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Ivan the Terrible

With his beret off:










...and here, in deep thought, exploring his nostril over lunch:

http://tinyurl.com/352nuex

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Tough Question

...need NOT be a math-geek to answer:

If we push one Verizon salesman in front of a speeding train heading north at 85 mph at 12:05 pm, and a second Verizon salesman in front of a different speeding train heading south on a parallel track at 105 mph at 12:14 pm, then, legalistically speaking... has any crime been committed?

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Could It Be...

the former Vice-President of Verizon in charge of strategic planning?:

http://tinyurl.com/4mxqz6s

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Mere Genetics

What do you get when you cross a Verizon Rep with a wicked, pernicious demon from the deepest darkest bowels of Hades?

Another Verizon Rep, of course

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Training Seminar

Verizon sales reps hold a get-together:

http://tinyurl.com/2a2k3o8

Monday, February 7, 2011

Sh*t, feces, dung

Hitler, Stalin, Mussolini

Verizon, AT&T, Comcast

...sorry, I keep repeating myself

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Verizon, Sell, Sell, Sell

Short interest in Verizon over 55,000,000 and rising (and for good reason):

http://tinyurl.com/4lwnwny

Saturday, February 5, 2011

And, An Anchor

What do you throw to a drowning Verizon Board member?

His partners.

Monday, January 31, 2011

Say What?


Verizon is
:

evilevilevilevilevilevilevilevilevilevilevil
evilevilevilevilevilevilevilevilevilevilevil
evilevilevilevilevilevilevilevilevilevilevil
evilevilevilevilevilevilevilevilevilevilevil
evilevilevilevilevilevilevilevilevilevilevil
evilevilevilevilevilevilevilevilevilevilevil
evilevilevilevilevilevilevilevilevilevilevil
evilevilevilevilevilevilevilevilevilevilevil
evilevilevilevilevilevilevilevilevilevilevil
evilevilevilevilevilevilevilevilevilevilevil
evilevilevilevilevilevilevilevilevilevilevil
evilevilevilevilevilevilevilevilevilevilevil.....

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Bang Bang

What do you call 20 skydiving Verizon salesmen?

skeet!